Dogma With An HP Twist
by tiger xox lily
Summary: This a story about Snape and Metatron and Metatron getting his golden wings
1. Default Chapter

(A/n: This is actually one of my friend's stories, but her mother won't let her get a screen name so I told her I'd put her stories up under my screen name. So this is not an MST. I'm just typing what she gives me; kind of like a beta-reader, except its going under my name. If there are ever any "a/n's" or any "me's" in the story, they're hers, not mine. So after I stop babbling, it will be just Leah's story. So here goes! )  
  
  
  
Title: Dogma with A HP Twist.  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Metatron, Alan Rickman or Snape. I don't own the Pink Bunny. Snape owns that, and his wand. I own myself. This is my idea……..no flames.  
  
It was another day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and, like always, Snape was a grumpy old guy.  
  
(Snape: Hey, I'm not grumpy or old)  
  
(Me: Quiet…It's my story and if I said that you are grumpy and old, then you are.)  
  
(Snape: Fine.)  
  
Anyway. Snape was very tired and went to be with his bunny, Mr. Pink Bunny.  
  
(Snape: Hey, I don't have a Pink Bunny!)  
  
(Me: Grrrroooowwwwlllll)  
  
(Lupin: Do you need your wolfbane potion?)  
  
(Me: No, I'm fine, thank you Lupin)  
  
Suddenly, there was a burst of flame and a voice saying:  
  
"I am Metatron"  
  
Snape said a very bad word which I will not write, so I'll just put:  
  
"Cockamamie"  
  
Snape took out his wand and yelled "Hydroxio" (the water spell) Suddenly a guy came out of the flames.  
  
"Did you have to use the water spell?"  
  
"Get the **** out of here!" yelled Snape.  
  
"Or what?" asked Metatron. "You'll put a spell on me?"  
  
Snape tried but Metatron had sucked all the magic out of his wand.  
  
"Now sit on the bed and shut up." said Metatron, whom I must mention, is played by the best actor around. (Pulls out Alan Rickman)  
  
Isn't he a cutie?  
  
(Alan: Can I go home now?)  
  
(Me: No)  
  
(Alan: Why?)  
  
(Me: cuz your mine)  
  
(Alan: OK.)  
  
"As I was saying," said Metatron, "I am an angel."  
  
Snape gasped. "I'm gonna diiiiiiieeeeeee!!!!!!!"  
  
"Uhh…. No." said Metatron, "You're going to help a girl meet the man of her dreams." 


	2. The Quest

(suger's a/n: Here's Chapter 2! Oh, and by the way, you can leave reviews here, I'll tell her 'bout 'm)  
  
  
  
"Help a girl WHAT?" asked Snape.  
  
"Meet-The-Man-Of-Her-Dreams," said Metatron annoyingly. "God, I hate it when they need it spelled out for them"  
  
"So who is this girl?" Snape asked.  
  
"Metatron pulled out a picture of a young igrl about 5'8 in height with shoulder length brown hair. In her arms, she held a white bear with red paws and ears and big, black nose. Oh her shoulder, was a with cat with yellow eyes. "This," said Metatron, "Is Leah. And unpopular 13 year old."  
  
"And this," said Metatron as he pulled out another picture, "Is the man of her dreams. Alan Sydney Patrick Rickman."  
  
(Alan: Hey, you know my whole name?!)  
  
(Me: I know everything about you, sweetie)  
  
(Alan: Cool)  
  
*Snape looks on jealously*  
  
Snape looked at the picture. "That guy is like 4 times her age!"  
  
"Yea, well," said Metatron, "It doesn't matter. She loves him and that's all that matters."  
  
"So what exactly do I have to do?" asked Snape.  
  
Metatron looked at him.  
  
"Leah is obsessed with you so all you have to do is go to her house and hook her and Mr. Rickman up."  
  
Metatron then got a dreamy look on his face.  
  
"Then I'll get my golden wings."  
  
"Your WHAT?" asked Snape.  
  
"My golden wings." Said Metatron, like it was the most obvious thing in the world."  
  
"Its……uhhhhhhh……something angels get when they have completed their 1,000,000th job sucessfully.  
  
Metatron sighed,"I was supposed to get it in the time of Dogma, but too many people died so I didn't get them."  
  
"Dog-what?" asked Snape.  
  
Metatron pulled out a video cassette cover. "Dogma," he said, "Year released, 1998. Rated R for violence, sexual situation, and drug use. Available wherever fine videos are sold."  
  
"Hey that's you!" said Snape.  
  
"No, duh, said Metatron.  
  
"What?……oh, yea ,ight," Snape said as he pryed his eyes off of Bethany.  
  
"She's sooooooo beautiful" said Snape.  
  
"Yea, right," said Metatron.  
  
(Snape: Why do you make me the stupid guy who loves girls?)  
  
(Me: Because I can.)  
  
(Snape: You're mean!!!!!)  
  
(Me: I'm sorry, sweetie.)  
  
(Alan: Hey I thought I was your sweetie)  
  
(Me: Yup, I got two sweeties)  
  
(Snape: Duuuuude)  
  
(Alan: Sweet!) 


End file.
